I wrote this March 2006.  I'm not exactly sure why I'm posting it here today.  I will likely take it down again in the morning.  I'm not in a bad place today.  In fact, I had a wonderful day.  Maybe that's why I want to share this now.  Maybe its because my life is so much better than the day I wrote this.  So much better, more wonderful than I could have imagined.  As always:  I am lucky.

bad days

on the bad days
i miss you so much
i miss your brown hair
it gets so curly when its wet
the way your eyes turn so blue
when you are happy
your smell
your weight in my arms
how you make everyone laugh
the pictures you paint
listening to you play the guitar
watching you spike the volley ball
when the bad days come
i miss you so much
what if my heart breaks?
Madeleine. Seth.
how can i miss you this much
when i have
never met you


There is another one I wrote called "good days" and it's about Jason and me.  But that one is for us.  

I have 14 loads of dirty laundry, a sink full of dirty dishes, polly pockets and barbies everywhere...

But I also have these lovely little Coffee Cozies! Screw you, housework.

The details:

- bought the woolens on Etsy (hand dyed)

- felted it myself (washed it 3 or 4 times)

- the round ones are my favorite, they are based on something called "Penny Rugs" or penny rounds. They appeal to me b/c they're not quite perfect, but most of all b/c they use up all the scraps - they're the ultimate recycled thing.  You can make "something out of nothing" with these.

- I'm blanket stitching everything in sight.  Haven't done that since 4H.  When was that, Pam?  A loooong time ago...

Now I'm on the lookout for any old wool pants or wool sweaters I can felt. I like the idea of making more of these completely from recycled items. Got an old (wool) sweater? Pass it on, kids!

Who dat?

Shelley: I finally found your blog again - so I thought I'd try to give you a better shot of Maddie's barn.

To the rest of you:
The story of this painting goes a little somethin' like this...

My friend Shelley is a painter. When Maddie was born I asked her to do a painting for me. I have always loved the prairie sky right before the rain comes. When it goes such a dark blue and the fields are so gold. This is how Maddie's eyes looked until they turned brown. This deep deep blue with a ring of gold. The red barn reminds me of a favorite spot I have on the highway between Calgary and S'toon. It's also garnet, Maddie's birthstone.

I love this painting and it's meaning. Thank you Shelley.

Check out Splattered Reflections here.

Love Hurts.


Mackenzie came over to play today.  The girls had made a fort, and Madge insisted on "decorating" the fort. First step was a bed, then pillows, then finally: some "cuddle bugs".

So they were making the bed, Maddie had just spread out the first layer - her first Big Blankie.  Mackenzie noted the holes (which are very large by now) and said,

"why is it broken?"

Maddie simply responded: "I just gave it all my love".  

What? You think I pulled that party off without a list?

There's always a list.

The Birthday Party

Agenda:

Craft (princess crowns, of course)

Game ("I can do that" Dr Suess game rec by Keely)

Presents

Cake

best friends

Its moments like these when Jason and I look at each other and know moving here was the right decision, and driving to a daycare WAY out of the way so these two can be together is one of the most important thing we've done so far.

We realized last night Mackenzie will likely go to Kindergarten in the afternoon and Maddie in the a.m. - a slight flaw in our original plan.  But it will all work out somehow. 

Mackenzie wore A DRESS! And tights!

She was the only one who truly embraced the crown.  Thank you Mackenzie. 

Georgia

A pack of REAL (premie) diapers

Juliette (also in a princess dress!)

I love how these two look at each other.

Best friends and our favorite princesses.

No, this isn't the Flin Flon Synchronized Swim Team...






Mom and Dad are taking a break from our lovely winter weather down in Palm Springs.
They appear to be keeping quite busy....

Public Service Announcement:

Check out "This American Life" - it's on Public Radio International and you can download podcasts.

I love it. You might too.  

And ladies and gentlemen....princesses around the world...I present you

Madeleine's Fourth Birthday Cake!

Dishes aren't done (kitchen does indeed resemble a building site). Most of my teeth are rotting from sampling too much icing. It is now officially 25 minutes past my Pumpkin Deadline (the time after which I am no long a charming and witty princess and instead drop like a fainting goat) anyway, it's past my Alert Hours, but yet I'm so happy the cake is done and doesn't look horrendous. It looks mildly horrendous up close but really people - it's cake and there is a CUP OF BUTTER in that icing.
Who gives a shit if it's not straight out of Cake Boss. I don't. ONE CUP. mmmm.


And now for the dishes (ugh).


p.s. I'm going to need some serious praise for this cake.  Feel free to post comments willy nilly.  I'm sure Jason will.

Apparently, in some sick and twisted nod to the challenge of giving birth four years ago, I have decided to choose now, about the time my labour became intense, to begin another challenging, intense (and likely painful) task:  decorating Madge's birthday cake.


The time is 8:13 p.m.  Hopefully there will be another post up here tonight with the finished product.

Wish me luck, kids.

Personalize an invite card

photo courtesy of
elle markosky photography

Editor's note:

It has come to my attention that the following blog post contains some misleading, if not in fact, completely in correct information.

The following photographers should be cited and credited for all Fantastic Shots on "5 Years in Ireland" website:

Chris AND KELLY  Mieske

And, while I'm added, handing out credit all willy nilly.  I think you should all stop and have a moment of gratitude for Kelly b/c she is the person who introduced me to this whole concept of self bloggery.  It has become an addiction and passion that I love, but Kel, I owe it all to you.

Want to go on a holiday?  Ready for some adventure?  Not a lot of cash?  More into the "idea" of adventure, rather than the smelly dirty bit about actually having the adventure?

Well, kids,  have I got a deal for you.  Check out my friend Kelly's blog.  It is chuck full of crazy and wild travel stories, the likes of which this camper has never seen.  And the best part?  Even though they go to remote, off the beaten path locations, and are usually backpacking and camping, even through all of this "roughing it" - Kelly and Chris always have some red wine not too far away.  Now THATs my kind of roughing it!

Check Kelly's blog out for the stories and for stories, but also for amazing travel photography.  I'm pretty sure Chris takes most of the pictures and truly, his pictures are so fantastic.  They manage to capture so many wonderful little details about travelling.

As always, I'm inspired and I can't wait for my next trip.  Although it won't be quite so far off the beaten path, it will still be travelling and there's something fabulous about that.

Maddie: (just out of the blue, as are most of her gems)

"My prince is Justin Bieber.  He hasn't met me yet, but he's going to marry me."


BIEBER:  If you're reading this, and I know you are...
STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER.    
And CUT YOUR HAIR.

When early literacy meets toilet humor:

"Mommy, I have a secret"

leans over, whispers in my ear:

"Group rhymes with poop.  Bahahahahahaha!"